Posts tagged ‘House of Lords’

October 28, 2015

The Ballad of the House of Lords – a parcel of rogues went down in their brogues

The Ballad of the House of Lords

lords

There are ladies and lords and people with swords

and one or two in riding boots

there are barons and earls and viscounts in pearls

concealed under Savile Row suits.

 

There are marquesses and dukes and other such sooks

who’ve dropped in by from the races

for there’s lunch to be had of pressed gammon and crab

to satisfy several gluttonous graces.

 

There’s Bordelaise sauce and tarragon concasse,

and slow cooked ox cheek for lunch

while somebody croaks another snorts coke

with more in the bar quaffing punch.

 

A parcel of rogues went down in their brogues

from Scotland to sponge off our taxes

Lord MacFlannel this and Lady MacPish

downing drams until both collapse(s).

 

There’s boozers and cruisers and downright losers

who’ll turn up to vote on all fours

and Lord Whip-me Quickly and Lady Most Thickly

high class whores and out and out bores

 

Lords Nanny-oh-Nanny let me lie on your fanny

and some that are down on their luck

bankers and wankers and judges who’re spankers

and some who’re just there for the… company.

 

Both jailbirds and crooks and those who’ve cooked the books

In their velvet silk they preen

they’re sad and they’re mad and invariably bad

as they sit on their arses serene.

 

On the woolsack they repose, stuffed with bodies of those

from the commonwealth exploited and oppressed

died creating the wealth accrued by British stealth

from people and lands repressed.

 

They’re gruesome and cant and hysterically camp

and they pay lip service to duty

but they snivel and flout as they mumble and pout

frightfully snooty while pocketing their booty.

 

With tax-free pay, £300 every day

if they choose to turn up for the fee

with expenses besides for air travel and rides

from France or the banks of the Dee.

 

Freeloaders and grovellers and democracy spoilers

who backscratch their way to the House

with brown envelopes or bribe they join a huge tribe

of 800 peers, each a louse.

 

There are city boy slickers some fur coat and nae knickers

there’s Lord Rent-a-Gob down from the north

and Ladies who’ll do benders in stockings and suspenders

whose value is all in their girth.

 

We’ve a bootlicking bunch that scheme during lunch

of lavender shortbread and cream

they’re all pals and they’re cronies and out and out phonies

all cogs in this corrupt regime.

 

The crawlers and creeps and Uriah Heeps

that dominate this Other Place

the sycophants and leeches, Church of England preachers

attendees of this House with the mace.

 

Those winkers and nudgers and out and out fudgers

who’ve no business making laws by rights

putting on airs and graces they mix in high places

with Dames and doddering old Knights.

 

They snigger and incite as they straighten their tights

the cross-benchers that is in their hose

and they squat in their jackets that were tailored by Hacketts

crowing that’s no skin off my nose.

 

For they’re pampered and rich and often quite kitsch

these Peers in their rabbit skin cloaks

more suitably goat rather than stoat

that’s wrapped around these pompous old soaks.

 

Scarlet, white and gold they gather so bold

a mob more hideous than most

and they smirk and they wink and they horribly stink

of sewers and all things gross.

 

Lady Oily, Lord Glib, Lord Bluster, Lady Fib

all revelling in their conceit

to shore up a regime of autocratic extreme

to screw every man in the street. (and woman)

 

Lord Toff to Lord Swell said it’s all very well

for other to criticise us at our game

but we’re magnates and lairds not politically impaired

tho’ we haven’t a vote to our name.

 

There are nawabs and sheikhs and all sorts of cliques

that run countries without any fuss

what’s the problem with Britain so many are smitten

with real democracy in place of this bluff?

 

They check in Burke’s Peerage and generally forage

to find their names get a mention

for it’s gratifying to see Lords and Ladies Swan-ky

are doing their bit for the nation.

 

Lady Ladida ‘n Lord Heehaw thought the mace was a see-saw

connected – not brainy you see

pedigree and good breeding can be so misleading

when deciding who gets in and succeeds.

 

So it’s up to us to generate a fuss

to demand that we drop this sham now

instead of amending the Lords need rendering

obsolete – this old sacred cow.

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June 22, 2015

The House of Lords is fundimundily wrong

The Sunday Times 1 Feb 2015

There are around 200 more members of the unelected House of Lords than sit in the House of Commons, surely an indictment of the state of democracy in the UK. Westminster is rotten at its core. The shamefully undemocratic nature of government in the UK is boosted and bolstered by the self-proclaimed progressive parties; Labour and Liberal and their eager members eyeing up a place in the second chamber – men such as Alistair Darling – one-time socialist and now new boy to those coveted red leather benches. darling a peer Our politicians don’t so much represent life outside Westminster as create a parallel existence within its walls that can extend to careers beyond the normal stretch of a working life. Labour, the fundillymundily party, has huffed and puffed for over a century but it is a game it plays and its supporters pretend to believe it is serious when it promises to reform the Lords. All bluster of course for Labour MPs and their cronies are falling over each other to reach those red benches alongside their pals, where the powerful go prior to death. foulkes There are inevitable attempts at justifying their pampered existence – claiming to bring experience and expertise to scrutinise government but only to a point for only the most corrupt of governments in the world operates a chamber as iniquitously  stuffed as this one. john reid As the Conservatives, Labour and Liberals all support the Lords there is no prospect of real advances in democratising government in the UK, certainly not under the party which speaks so often of reform then goes on to inflate its membership there, Labour. In any case why is it talk of reform? There should be no place for any such unelected chamber that makes government into a perk for the few in the 21st century. Michael Martin No the fundilymundily party is in love with the whole panoply of the Lords; the ermine robes, the cosy camaraderie within its soporific atmosphere, optional working hours, the £300+ a day plus expenses, the subsidised food and drink – what’s not to like for erstwhile lefties such as Alistair Darling? darling young List of Labour Party peers Labour Peers

June 26, 2012

Lord Trefgarne called to office by the Almighty

Lord Trefgarne, a Conservative Hereditary Peer who sits as a Hereditary Peer  in the House of Lords for 50 years spoke on BBC Radio 4’s World at One on Tuesday 26 June 2012 on the topic of proposed Lords reforms..

Since 2001 he has

  • voted against more EU integration
  • strongly against equal gay rights
  • against the hunting ban
  • moderate laws to stop climate change
  • moderately in favour of greater autonomy for schools

Although he has been absent on many occasions when votes on important issues were being taken. His voting behaviour is average for the Lords : voted in 35.61% of votes.

http://www.theyworkforyou.com/peer/lord%20trefgarne?keyword=lord%20trefgarne&creativeid=6817068303&gclid=CJbavpzW7LACFUxlfAodZC_gyA

Q: Do you feel you have a right to be in the House of Lords?

LT: I am part of the House of Lords because the Letters Patent issued to my late father by His late Majesty King George VI to my father and his heirs and successors lawfully forgotten for evermore will come to this House including my son George if he so chooses.

Q: But do you think that right? Do you think it unfair?

LT: No I think hereditary peers make a very valuable contribution to the governance of our nation in the way that its presently constituted.

Q: But in the back of your mind I wonder if you see the point of view of people who say it’s just unfair that you were born into this like …

LT:I don’t for a moment accept the word unfair. I think I have been asked to perform a duty which I am proud to do.

Q: So it doesn’t cross your mind?

LT: No, certainly not.

Q: So what do you think when hear those arguments?

LT: I think they don’t understand, me and others like me and most hereditaries I imagine think as I think we are here to do our duty. I am very reluctant to suggest that I am somehow better than other people of course I’m not, I’m an ordinary person but the Almighty decided that I was to have a certain duty imposed upon me. It never for one moment crossed my mind to disclaim the title and do something else.

And so he went on complaining about the ‘huge’ amount of parliamentary time which would be taken up with reform of the Lords – as if democracy was not worth the time and effort.

What is he famous for?

This Tory Peer has been named as trying to influence the Scottish government to free Abdelbaset al-Megrahi because of the threat to British business interests were Megrahi to die in prison here.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/sep/02/tory-peer-megrahi-scotland

Trefgarne is also said to have asked Gaddafi’s son Saif, now in prison awaiting trial, to help him recover £1 million for fees he maintains were due him for his efforts to have Megrahi released from jail in Scotland.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/libya/8755446/Former-Tory-minister-asked-Saif-Gaddafi-for-1m-over-Lockerbie-bombers-release.html