The Essentials of Dave Cameron’s Speech to Conference

Cameron’s Speech

As I said on the steps of No10 Downing Street before walking through that door, fuck me if a posh boy like me from the leafy shires can get the top job then anyone can.

Line one, rule one of being a Conservative is that it’s not where you’ve come from that counts, it’s where you’re going. I’ve learned the lesson of Tony Blair. We have to become a nation of aspiration.

The doers. The risk takers. The young people who dream of their first pay-cheque from Daddy’s company, their first car – what will it be – a Ferrari or a Porsche? ,their first home – Buckinghamshire or a pad in Belgravia? No-one says life is not difficult. There are hard choices to be made. We have to be ready and willing to work hard to get those things and which of us in the Conservative Party has ever been handed anything on a plate?’

It is said we the Conservatives are the Party of the better-off. Better-off? Better-off is a term of failure. We are the Party of the fucking stinking rich. We are the Party of ambition – to be fucking richer still – way beyond the limited imaginations of those little people who are content to scrounge off us toffs. (sprinkling applause)

They say we are not compassionate but we love the disabled, the vulnerable so much we have even devised policies to reach out to each and every one of them – to help them see how much more they can do for themselves, to stand on their own two feet, or shuffle into line if they are feet-challenged, so that they are not overwhelmed by guilt at being a burden on the tax payers – whoever they may be. (loud applause and a standing evasion  ovation).

We make our own ways in life. Work hard. Family comes first. Keep it in the family is our motto. Mine anyway. There’s a place for community but let’s not get carried away. Where would communities be without individuals? They wouldn’t exist. We all owe a debt of gratitude to our families but we have to make our ways in life alone. (silence)

My father was a simple immigrant born abroad in Blairmore (sick sic) House in Aberdeenshire, Scotland who convinced me of the benefits of foreign aid. (Boos from the audience) I know, I know some of you are not in favour but my family has found that investing in Third World Countries, like Panama, can reap unexpectedly large rewards.

Conservatives CAN deliver. Panama CAN deliver. (wild cheering from the floor)

Britain can deliver. The market can deliver. We just need to know where and how to place our cash emphasis. Aspiration is the engine of progress.

And there is nothing complicated about what we need today. But it’s tough. These are difficult times. We’re being tested. How will we come through it? Again, it’s not complicated. Hard work. Strong families. Taking responsibility. Serving others. There is only one real route out of poverty and it is work. Work. Work Work. Arbeit macht frei.(frenzied applause and stamping of feet)

For years people said you’ll never reform public sector pensions, the trade unions won’t stand for it. Well, we’ve done it, and it’s going to cut the cost to the taxpayer almost in half.

For years people said benefits are out of control and there’s nothing you can do about it. Well, because of our welfare cap, no family will be getting more in benefits than the average family earns. And we are keeping that cost down to make the task easier. Be proud of what we’ve done already. (drumming of feet)

We are freeing more people from the burden of tax by keeping wages beneath the tax bracket. They have us and the Liberal Democrats to thank for that. Two million of the lowest-paid workers being taken out of income tax altogether because they don’t earn enough. Who says we aren’t thinking about the poor?


I have only one thing to say to the poor in this country – Panama.

It is the mission of this government, hand in hand with our Liberal Democrat colleagues, and we have to face facts we could never have achieved what we already have without their collusion involvement, to build an aspiration nation to unleash and unlock the promise in all our people to turn their backs on the past; on workers’ rights, a National Health service in more than name, support within the community Where is the profit in any of that? (murmurs from the audience)

There are many things I want this coalition to achieve but what could matter more than saving our United Kingdom? Let’s say it: we’re better together and we’ll rise together – so let’s fight that referendum with everything we’ve got. Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer. (excited waving of union flags)

But that’s enough about North Britain. We are here in the heart of God’s own country where we know what it takes to win … to win in the tough world of today …. to win for all our people who matter… to win for Britain. So let’s get out there and give it to them. (standing ovation)


One Trackback to “The Essentials of Dave Cameron’s Speech to Conference”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: